Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
