Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
