went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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