ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
