Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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