You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
