So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
