So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
