his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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