We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
