wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
