but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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