That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
