i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
