First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
