I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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