So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
