If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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