Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Randomize
