is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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