i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
