I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
