At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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