Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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