Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
