Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
