you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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