Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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