It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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