I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
