is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
