just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
