im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
