I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
