I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
