What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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