I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Two words: blizzard sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
