all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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