I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
