Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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