he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
