Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
