sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
