I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
