My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
