The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
