do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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