Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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