hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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