Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
